Pack A Parachute

"Pack A Parachute"

A photographer for a national magazine was
assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire.
He was advised that a small plane would be
waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an
hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small
Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in
with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung
the plane into the wind and soon they were in the
air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the
photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the
photographer. "I'm a photographer, and
photographers take pictures."

After a long pause, the "pilot" replied: "You mean,
you're not my instructor?"

*****************************************

"General Nuisance"

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace
is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that
moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter
what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to
try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream
furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man
in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly
walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered
mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly,
soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward
his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's
hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other
passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat,
one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse
me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you
what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I
showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle
ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one
passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:41:25 2005