Lemon Picking

"Jilted"

A note sent from the jilted bride to the intended groom:

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

***********************************

"Scale"

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales
that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped
in a coin.

"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her
a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright,
resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight
wrong, too."

***********************************

"Lemon Picking"

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon
grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

"Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any
actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well... as a matter if fact, Yes!" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times."
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:36:23 2005