From The Mouths Of Babes

"From The Mouths Of Babes"

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you,
"Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
- Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence.
- Robert, 13

6. Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Noronha, 13

7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
- Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't
let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the
same room as your school assignment.
- Traci, 14

10. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're
eating crackers.
- Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after
eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the
same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

13. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass
of milk.
- Armir, 9

14. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts. - Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a
horse.
- Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
- Lauren, 9

17. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding
a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to
your mom when she's on the phone.
- Alyesha, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat.
- Eileen, 8

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"Playing The Part"

A little boy was in his sister's wedding. As he was
coming down the aisle he would take two steps,
stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between
bride's and groom's side). While facing the crowd,
he would put his hands up like claws and roar ...
so it went ... step, step, ROAR ... step, step, ROAR ...
all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from
laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more
distressed from all the laughing, and was nearly in
tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed
and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
Received on Fri Sep 9 19:37:30 2005