Should Have Waited

"Should Have Waited"

This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't
crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night,
you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the
deserted streets of lower Manhattan.

So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet
from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself
to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed
on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but
safe on deck.

He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly
to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?"

"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have
waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."

**************************************

"Bubba & the Gator"

A filthy rich man in Florida decided that he wanted
to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and
neighbors. He also invited Bubba, the only redneck
in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard
of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time
drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ
and flirting with the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10
ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million
dollars to anyone who is brave enough to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there
was a loud splash and everyone turned around and
saw Bubba in the pool!

Bubba was fighting the gator and kicking its hide!
Bubba was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke
holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the
gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.
Both Bubba and the gator were screaming and raising
  hell. Finally Bubba strangled the gator and let it float
to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Bubba then slowly
climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring
at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Bubba, I reckon I owe you
a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Bubba.

The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something.
You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Bubba.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.
That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a
  Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Bubba said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Bubba, then
what do you want?"

Bubba said, "I want the name of the SOB who
pushed me in the pool."
Received on Tue Oct 11 06:03:59 2005