King Solomon

"Who Am I?"

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo
were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said,
"I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in
the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person
in the world." Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have
to be the ugliest person in the world." They
decided to go to the Guinness Book of World
Records to have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking
deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most
beautiful girl in the world,"

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant,
"I am officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking
confused and simply stated, "Who the hell is
Camilla Parker Bowles?"

************************************

"King Solomon"

Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a three-
piece suit.

"This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter,"
said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the
other.

And so they haggled before the King, until he called
for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, " and
I shall hew the young accountant in half. Each of you
shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill
innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter
marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The
accountant must marry the first lady's daughter,"
he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!"
exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows
she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
Received on Tue Jun 21 08:18:25 2005