Excerpts From Cat's & Dog's Diaries

"Excerpts From The Dog's Daily Diary"

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

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"Excerpts From The Cat's Daily Diary"

Day 283 Of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am
capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,
I could hear the noise and smell the food. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement
was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be
an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. . . .
Received on Tue Jul 5 08:04:21 2005