Nine Ways NOT To Start Your Police Report

"Quickie"

A police recruit was asked during the exam,
"What would you do if you had to arrest your
own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."

***********************************

"Police Test"

A young man was taking a verbal test to join the
local police force.

The question asked, "If you were driving a police
car, alone on a lonely road at night, and were being
chased by a gang of criminals driving sixty miles
an hour, what would you do?"

The young man answered without a second's
thought: "Seventy!"

***********************************

"Burning Question"

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak
with the burglar who had broken into his house
the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk
Sergeant.

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he
got into the house without waking my wife. I've been
trying for years."

***********************************

"Nine Ways NOT To Start Your Police Report"

1. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ...

2. The names contained in this report have been
changed to protect the innocent ...

3. The mayor then made an illegal left hand turn
onto Mulraney at which point I opened fire ...

4. Before I get into the details, I've got a few "shout-
outs" for my homeys in the command staff ...

5. It was so dark and wet that night you could almost
eat the mist. The radio call penetrated the eerie
silence with such piercing intensity that for a moment,
I was sure I'd lost my mind ...

6. Got call. Responded. Arrested bad guy. The end.

7. Mye pertnar an eye wher on petrol wen we seen
a man act suspishushly...

8. The suspect then tried to assault me by repeatedly
slamming his face into my fist ...

9. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ...
Received on Fri Aug 5 07:54:18 2005