Late For Work

"Late For Work"

"How come you're late?" asked the bartender,
as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.

"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down
Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man
was thrown from his car and he was lying in the
middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull
was fractured, and there was blood everywhere.
Thank G~d I took that first-aid course."

"What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees
to keep from fainting!"

********************************

"Letters Of Recommendations For Employees"

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed his career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."

For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours
he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person
to work for you."
"He consistently achieves the standards he sets for
himself."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job
is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for
the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration
as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this
candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this
candidate or recommend him too highly."
Received on Mon Apr 25 02:10:54 2005