12 Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers

"12 Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers"

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do
you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked,
because no one seems to care these days and I have all
these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died..." When they get try to get back
to the sell, just continue your problems.

3. If they say they're Joe Doe fro the XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the
company name, then ask them where it located. Continue
asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male:
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and
Siegel services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a
really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and
surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my gosh! Judy,
how have you BEEN?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of
terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could
know you from.

6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each
no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak.
This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang
up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family
and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as you can
muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well,
how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal
but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-
huh, really, or "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask
you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered,
but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number
to someone that's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example:
Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you
calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas."
You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the
weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling
to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a
telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream,
"Oh, my goodness!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give
you their phone number you will call them back. If they say
they are not allow to give out their number, then ask them
for their home number and tell them you will call them at
home. (This is usually the most effective method of getting
rid of Telemarketers)
Received on Mon Sep 13 02:33:51 2004