Church Feud

"Church Feud"

There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir
Director of The Hicksville Southern Baptist Church.

It seems the first hint of trouble came when the
Pastor preached on "dedicating yourselves to service"
and the Choir Director chose to sing: "I Shall Not Be
Moved."

Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor
put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he
preached on "giving." Afterwards, the choir squirmed
as the director led them in the hymn: "Jesus Paid It All."

By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper.
Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension
between the two built.

A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his
sermon on "The sins of Gossiping." Would you
believe the Choir Director selected: "I Love To
Tell The Story?"

There was no turning back. The following Sunday the
Pastor told the congregation that unless something
changed, he was considering resignation. The entire
church gasped when the Choir Director led them in:
"Why Not Tonight?"

Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor
resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led
him there and Jesus was leading him away. The
Choir Director could not resist: "What A Friend We
Have In Jesus."

********************************

"Smart Cat"

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided
to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks
from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the
driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks
away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat
would always beat him home. At last he decided to
drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the
bridge, then right again and another right until he
reached what he thought was a safe distance from
his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen,
is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that SOB on the
phone. I'm lost and need directions!!!"
Received on Tue Oct 19 12:42:00 2004