Etiquette and Decency, 33-40

"Intercourse Etiquette and Decency"
Part V

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless
she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask
yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped
hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men
because THEY HAVE A PROSTATE! Women don't.
{Although some women do like anal...}

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides
of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have
to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end....
and it looks pretty silly when its summer.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone.
It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a
1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it
right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on
her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your
bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
Received on Fri Nov 5 06:14:10 2004