The Garage Door

"The Garage Door"

A little while after my mother was widowed, it became
apparent that she was unable to open the garage door
by herself. Being the macho man that I am, I've decided
to install an automatic door for her. I worked very hard
on my project. Very proud of my achievement, I gave the
remote control to my mother and said, "Here, Mom, you
open it."

After she gingerly pressed the button, the garage door
slowly started to move upwards, making the usual chug-
chug-chug sound.

All of a sudden, the chugging was interrupted by a loud
"Squeal! Yelp! Yelp!!" Bewildered, we looked under the
garage door. Standing on its hind legs and frantically
waving front paws was the family mutt. My mother tied
the poor dog to the garage door's handle.

What happened next was even funnier. Instead of lowering
the door, my mother tried to free the almost-hanging pooch
from his collar, the remote control firmly clutched in her hand.
I was rolling on the grass laughing. I finally wrestled the
remote from my mother, lowered the garage door and freed
the dog.

Yep, my mother is a natural blonde...

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"Cows"

Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that
our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington.

Also, they track her calves to their stalls.

But, they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.

The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.

Moooo!
Received on Fri May 14 12:53:02 2004