The Blonde Kidnapper

"The Blonde Kidnapper"

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise
some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and
hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took
him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped
you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped
your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a
paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next
to the slide on the north side of the playground.
Signed, a blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's
shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure
enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the
pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and
found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How
could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ol' Fred"

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the
hospital, near death. The family called their preacher
to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's
condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned
frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece
of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to
scribble a note, then suddenly died. The preacher
thought it best not to look at the note at that time,
so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he
realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he
was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know,
Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I
haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure
there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your
left -- you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Received on Wed Mar 3 22:17:10 2004