Preaching to the Bears

"Preaching to the Bears"

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as
chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in
Marquette. They would get together two or three times a
week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to
preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided
to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go into the
woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches,
and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine
Irish brogue, 'Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond
when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre
Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with' me and
begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water and,
THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb.
The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion
und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an
arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory
he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...
WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began
to read to him from G~d's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with
me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle.

We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul.
An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of
the week in fellowship, feasting on G~d's HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed.
He's in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running
in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy,
but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."
Received on Wed Dec 8 06:17:30 2004