How To Shower Like A Woman

"How To Shower Like A Woman"

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any
exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and
stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine
even more about how you're getting fat.

4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth,
leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey
shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey
conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on
hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red raw.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least
fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all
come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini
area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes
the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent
second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.
Attack with nails/tweezers if found.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.

18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way,
cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend
an hour and a half getting dressed.
Received on Mon Apr 26 06:17:38 2004