Subject: The Consultant
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon May 12 2003 - 09:27:58 EDT
"Heard Of Cows?"
A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted
to be macho, so he went out walking with
one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard,
the visitor tried to begin a conversation,
"Say, look at that big bunch of cows."
The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.'"
"Heard what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Sure, I've heard of cows... there's a big bunch
of 'em right over there."
******************************
"The Consultant"
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote
pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW
advanced out of the dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci
shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leaned out the window and asked the shepherd...
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have
in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a
yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing
flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM
Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then
he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where
he called up a GPS satellite navigation system,
scanned the area, and then opened up a database
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.
He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a
few minutes, received a response. Finally, he
prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized
printer then turns to the shepherd and says.......
"You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the
shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the
animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my
animal?"
"OK, why not." answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.
"That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did
you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answers the shepherd.
"You turned up here although nobody called you.
You want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a question I never asked, and you don't know
crap about my business.... Now give me back
my dog."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sun Jun 01 2003 - 00:00:02 EDT