Subject: Cards You'll Never Find In A Hallmark Shop
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Jul 26 2003 - 02:23:25 EDT
"Cards You'll Never Find In A Hallmark Shop"
So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire. I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mend.
Here's a bouquet of flowers and
a box of Depends.
Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine I got real snippy.
Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it. She moved in with me.
You totaled your car. And can't remember why.
Could it have been. That whole case of Bud Dry?
How could two people as beautiful as you
have such an ugly baby?
If I get only one thing for Christmas,
I hope it's your sister.
As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts
you've given me.
Like the need for therapy...
Thanks for being a part of my life!!!
I never knew what evil was before this!
Someday I hope to get married,
but not to you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike!
I knew the day would come when you
would leave me for my best friend.
So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for
what happened, ..
especially since you survived.
Congratulations on getting married!
It's not every day you decide to ruin your life!
I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and
well respected. While I'm dreaming,
I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
The holidays are a great time to be with family.
Of course, your family won't be with you,
since I'm taking the kids and moving in with
my sister, you cheating jerk!!
If you ever need a friend, buy a dog.
If you didn't have any money, I'd still love you.
And miss you very much.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Aug 01 2003 - 00:00:01 EDT