Subject: Basic Bar Terminology
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Jul 26 2003 - 02:22:16 EDT
"Basic Bar Terminology"
1. "YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME."
(We will not be here long enough to get another round.)
2. "I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU."
(Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar,
but by the next round, they will be $4.50 a pop.)
3. "HEY, WHERE IS THAT GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS?"
(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way
to have sex with your girl friend.)
4. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL."
(FEMALE)
(I am easy.)
5. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL."
(MALE)
(I am gay.)
6. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (FEMALE)
(I am really easy)
7. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (MALE)
(I'm really gay)
8. "I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME."
(FEMALE)
(You are paying more attention to your friends
than to me.)
9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME."
(MALE)
(I am horny.)
10. "WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?"
(I have not bought a round in almost 3 years,
but I am an expert at diverting attention.)
11. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO MALE)
(Get the hell out of the way.)
12. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO FEMALE)
(I am going to grope you now and blame it on
the crowd.)
13. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO MALE)
(Do not even think about groping me; just get
the hell out of my way.)
14. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE)
(Move your fat butt. Who do you think you are
anyway? You are certainly not all that, Miss
Thing, coming in here dressed like a hoochie...
In addition, get your eyes off my man, or I will
slap you like the cheap sl*t that you are.)
15. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?"
(What is cheap?)
16. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (MALE TO
FEMALE)
(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means
that I get to lick you.)
17. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (FEMALE
TO MALE)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you
imagine what I will do to you in bed?)
18. "THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)
19. "CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER?"
(FEMALE)
(I am really annoying, but cute enough to get
away with this.)
20. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (FEMALE)
(I am 17.)
21. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (MALE)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over
by the cops)
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