Subject: The Rules of Chocolate
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Jan 19 2003 - 02:36:17 EST
"The Rules of Chocolate"
Q: Why is there no such organization as
Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.
Q: Is there life without chocolate?
A: We don't know. No one dared to
attempt it yet.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your
hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange
slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat
as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate
home from the store in a hot car. The solution:
Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll
eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on
top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights,
and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect
themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and
white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't
they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives
make you look younger. Therefore, you need to
eat more chocolate.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things
to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing
done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total
daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't
that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in
the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for
control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry
would be devastated. You can't let that happen,
can you?
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Sat Feb 01 2003 - 00:00:01 EST