Subject: A Bronze Rat
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 25 2003 - 09:05:38 EST
"A Bronze Rat"
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop
in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through
the objects on display he discovers a detailed,
life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture
is so interesting and unique that he picks it up
and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop
owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the
story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies,
"but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete,
the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat
under his arm.
As he crosses the street in front of the store, two
live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into
step behind him. Nervously looking over his
shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time
he passes another sewer drain, more rats come
out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a
hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin
to point and shout. He walks even faster, and
soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats
swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots,
and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands
are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront
at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to
run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats
keep up, squealing hideously, now not just
thousands but millions, so that by the time he
comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of
rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light
post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the
bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other,
as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and
clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement
as the seething tide of rats surges over the
breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back
to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back
for the rest of the story," says the owner.
"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you
have a bronze lawyer."
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