Subject: 40 Ways Men Fail In Bed 33-40
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Feb 21 2003 - 16:01:19 EST
"40 Ways Men Fail In Bed"
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she
wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless
she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious.
Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with
snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this
carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men
because they have a prostate. Women don't.
Nevertheless, some may like it. ASK first!
35) GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert
some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you
do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear
turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on
end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout
encouragement like a coach with a megaphone.
It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a
lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she
likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You
have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it
right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more
than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily,
she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER. NEVER thank a woman for
having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.
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