Subject: Physical
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Feb 21 2003 - 16:00:34 EST
"Physical"
70 year old George went for his annual physical.
All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great
physically. How are you doing mentally,
emotionally and are you at peace with your self
and have a good relationship with G-d?"
George replied, "G-d and me are tight. We are
so close that when I get up in the middle of the
night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the
bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'that's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's
wife. 'Thelma," he said, "George is just fine.
Physically he's great. But I had to call because
I'm in awe of his relationship with G-d. Is it true
that he gets up during the night and poof! The
light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the
light goes off?'"
Thelma replied, "Darn fool! He's peeing in the
fridge again!"
***********************
"G.A.S.H."
A man is feeling very ill, so he goes to see his
doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital
to undergo tests. The man wakes up after the
tests in a private room at the hospital, and the
phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We've had the results
back from your tests and we've found you
have a extremely nasty Sexually Transmitted
Disease called G.A.S.H. It's a combination
of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis and herpes!"
"Oh my G-d, doctor! What are you going
to do?"
"Well, we're going to put you on a diet of
pizzas, pancakes and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?"
"Well no, but it's the only food we can get
under the door."
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