Subject: 40 Ways Men Fail In Bed 9 -16
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 18 2003 - 10:22:43 EST
"40 Ways Men Fail In Bed"
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom
disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it,
you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure
is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers
along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike
men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop,
they plummet back to square one very fast. If you
can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs,
numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women
hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when
naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her
head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a
kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very
sexy. Pulling the material up between her
thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although
most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still
believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is
your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen
banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but
if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried
away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and
the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger
inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to
give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood.
Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue
by stripping before she's at least made some move toward
getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
buttons.
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