Subject: Smokers Warning
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Aug 14 2003 - 10:09:16 EDT
"Smokers Warning"
A Canadian study shows that smokers seem to
have smaller penises, due to the smoking.
Health Canada should take note of that penis study.
There is no doubt that news of reduced size and
endurance, if properly advertised, will end smoking
once and for all in the male population ... of this
man hath no greater fear.
To save taxpayers a whole bunch of money, we (Health
Canada) asked the Page Six Research and Jingle
Division, currently out stocking up on nicotine gum
and Viagra, to create some new lines for those
government warnings on cigarette packages.
Here's some sample warnings . . .
These cigarettes are king size -- and you're not.
Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only
things getting smaller.
If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will
reduce you.
Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.
Smoke rises -- you may not.
Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children --
if you were capable of conceiving any.
Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do
you.
How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards if there's
no before?
The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.
Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you
might not have the range to put them out.
Continue Smoking -- You just put your sex life in
your hands.
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