Subject: Guilty or Not Guilty?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Oct 30 2002 - 07:49:58 EST
"Lawyer Strange"
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend
asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man,
and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription
would be confusing, for passersby would tend to
think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would
inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest
and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked
by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain
to remark:
"That's Strange!"
***********************
"Guilty or Not Guilty?"
A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma.
There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but
there was no corpse. In the defense's closing
statement the lawyer, knowing that his client
would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick:
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise
for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
"Within one minute, the person presumed dead in
this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute
passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the
previous statement. But you all looked on with
anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is
reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone
was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few
minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict
of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have
had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." The
jury foreman replied: "Oh, we thought about that and
realized that all of us did look, but your client didn't."
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