Subject: Paybacks Are Hell
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jun 25 2002 - 10:26:53 EDT
"Golfing With A Priest"
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on first hole
when a second fellow approaches and asks if
he can join him. The first says that he usually
plays alone but agrees to let the second guy
join him. Both are even after the first couple of
holes. The second guy says "Say, we're about
evenly matched, what do you think about we
play for a $5.00 a hole?"
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone
and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the terms.
Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes
and as they're walking off of the eighteenth hole,
and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that
he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to
pick on suckers.
The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest
at the local Catholic Church to which the second
fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers
to give the Priest back his money.
The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square
and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your
winnings."
The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to
make it up to you?"
The Priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass
on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you
bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll
marry them for you."
************************
"Paybacks Are Hell"
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer.
Every chance he could get, he could be found
on the golf course swinging away. It was an
obsession.
One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing.
The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the
temperature was just right. The preacher was in
a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the
urge to play golf overcame him. He called an
assistant to tell him that he was sick, packed
the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course
where no one would recognize him. Happily, he
began to play he
course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher
and was quite perturbed. He went to G~d and
said, "Look at the preacher. He should be
punished for what he is doing." G~d nodded in
agreement.
The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung
at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air
and landed right in the cup four hundred yards
away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net).
A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed
and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to G~d
and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you
were going to punish him."
G~d smiled. "Think about it -- whom can he tell?"
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