Subject: Things A Mom Would Never Say
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Jul 23 2002 - 10:04:28 EDT
"Things A Mom Would Never Say"
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so
far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too,"
"Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house
look more cheery."
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for
another week."
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll
be glad to feed and walk him every day."
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's
good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.
It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your
sleeve."
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill
is bound to improve."
My Mother taught me LOGIC - like, "If you fall off
that swing and break your neck, you can't go to
the store with me."
My Mother taught me MEDICINE - like, "If you
don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to
freeze that way."
My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater
on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE -
"Where's your brother and don't talk with food
in your mouth. Answer me!"
My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn
mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
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