Subject: Fearing the Worst
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Feb 22 2002 - 19:38:03 EST
"Fearing the Worst"
The ninety five year old woman at the nursing
home received a visit from one of her fellow
church members.
"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
"Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!"
"What are you worried about, dear?" her friend
asked. "You look like you're in good health. They
are taking care of you, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are taking very good care of me."
"Are you in any pain?" she asked.
"No, I have never had a pain in my life."
"Well, what are you worried about?" her friend
asked again.
The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and
slowly explained her major worry - "Every close
friend I ever had has already died and gone on
to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where
I went and why."
**************************
"Pagan In Hell"
A good, clean living Pagan died and went to
Heaven. St Peter met him at the door. "You
can't come in here," Peter said.
The Pagan asked why.
"You're Pagan... sorry. But Hell isn't so bad.
Your friends are there, and they say it's cool."
The Pagan is depressed but goes anyway,
because he was, well, Pagan. So he goes
to Hell and is greeted by a beautiful green
field with people picnicking and having a great
time. A man in a white comes over to him and
presents himself as Satan, and the Devil tells
him of all the delights in what appears to be a
5 star resort.
"Wow!" thinks the Pagan. "Hell ain't so bad!
I'm happy to be here."
Suddenly, the sky gets black and fire spews
from the ground. A screaming, flaming man
falls from the sky and is swallowed by a crack
in the earth. After he disappears, everything
returns to normal.
"What the heck was that?!" the Pagan asks
Satan.
Satan replies, "That was a Christian. They
wouldn't have Hell any other way."
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