Subject: What Your Car Says About You...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Dec 05 2002 - 10:55:20 EST
"What Your Car Says About You..."
Acura Integra - I have always wanted
to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for
German cars.
Acura NSX - I am impotent.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than
34 of the 50 states.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good
Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating
the hell out of people.
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing
people's reactions when I tell them
have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life
crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a
militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich
Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine
in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special
education, and I voted for Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for
four years to get this car.
Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to
prematurely ejaculate.
Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead
in a mini van.
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart).
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in
school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having
people slow to 55 mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them.
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade
in the fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade
in the fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half
a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and
have no credit.
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and
am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17
malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn
about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K
for a car that is in the shop 280 days
per year.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the
failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countach - I only have one
testicle.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and
covered dish suppers.
Mercury Grand Marquis (See above).
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you
ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter
named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated
by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB - I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it
means either.
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my
divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car
and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's
Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing
the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade
in my sock.
Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch
thingie.
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired
women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat
Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal.
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic).
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted
a Japanese car even more inferior
than Isuzu.
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge
Family reruns.
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the
closet.
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping
right now.
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of
my wife.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Jan 01 2003 - 00:00:02 EST