Subject: Men Explained Part III
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Apr 10 2002 - 22:38:14 EDT
"Men Explained"
21. Why do men fear commitment?
Don't be so surprised. Yes; most of us do know what
'commitment' means and can spell it correctly. It's like
an automobile. No matter how good you think this year's
model is, they're always coming out with newer, faster,
better, sleeker, and sexier models. We simply cannot
be expected to purchase the first one we see. We must
browse around a bit and test drive a few. Who wants
to end up with a lemon? At least with a car, there's a
slight chance of it eventually becoming a classic. It
simply makes much more sense to lease and upgrade
to the younger... err... I mean newer models every couple
of years. Some of them come with fun extras like dual
air bags.
22. What does it mean when men say, "I'm just not ready
for a relationship right now" or "I don't want a girl friend?"
It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but
not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly.
23. What does it mean when men say, "Can we just be friends?"
Generally, it means that the recipient of said comment is
physically repulsive enough that no beer goggles may be
thick enough to provide adequate protection.
24. Do all men really masturbate?
Yes. It is genetically inherited behavior. It's been passed
on from our most primal forefathers, and it'll be passed
on to our sons.
25. Why do men generally have greater upper body strength?
Several factors are at work, namely evolution, heredity,
nutrition, and environment. (See also: Do all men really
masturbate?)
26. Why do men generally have better hand-eye or spatial
coordinate motor coordination?
It is like with all things. Practice... Practice... Practice...
(See also: Do all men really masturbate?)
27. Why are men so obsessed with beautiful women?
As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if
men were obsessed with ugly women, there would be
just as much bitching about why men are so obsessed
with ugly women. No matter how you set this up, some
people are always going to be left out. I don't see
anyone screaming about equal treatment for the stupid
people either.
28. Why do men like younger women?
Well, let's see. Besides the fact that they like older men,
they're easily impressed. They're also perky, energetic,
and come with very little baggage. And gravity has less
prevail over their bodies.
29. Why do men only have one thing on their minds?
While technically correct, this statement is not strictly
true. We may only be able to entertain one idea at a
time, but we do think of lots of other things besides sex,
such as sports and beer. We also get hungry quite often.
30. How can men possibly find that other woman attractive
(i.e. whatever do you see in that fat pig)?
Even if you happen to be Cindy Crawford, once we get
the idea that you are ours, other women suddenly
become much more attractive and you lose a few
attractiveness points. I'm a bit puzzled by this one
myself. I think evolution is to blame. We men are just
innocent bystanders in the war of the selfish genes.
(look here for more about male genes) You should
love us despite our inherent weakness.
31. Why are men such dogs?
Men resent that. Dogs are faithful... loyal... affectionate...
and obedient...
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