Subject: Computerized Airplane
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Oct 29 2001 - 02:25:32 EST
"Computerized Airplane"
The world's first fully computerized airliner was
ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.
The plane taxied to the loading area automatically,
its doors opened automatically, the steps came
out automatically. The passengers boarded the
plane and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors
closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a voice
intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first
fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft
is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing
can go wrong ... Nothing can go wrong...nothing can
go wrong...."
**************************
"Airline Pilot"
An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight
from New York to Los Angeles. The weather
was too bad in New York to allow his usual on
time departure. The weather in New York finally
cleared and the pilot asked for his departure
clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that
he had another delay due to the increased traffic
now leaving New York.
Sometime later he finally received his clearance
and decided he would try to make up the time
lost by asking for a direct flight to Los Angeles.
Halfway across the country he was told to turn due
South. Knowing that this turn would now throw him
further behind schedule he inquired, quite agitated,
to the controller for the reason of the turn off coarse.
The controller replied that the turn was for noise
abatement.
The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller,
"Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule
with all the delays you guys have given me today.
I really don't see how I could be causing a noise
problem for pedestrians when I am over 6 miles
above the earth!"
The controller answered in a calm voice, "Apparently,
Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Thu Nov 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EST