Subject: Divorce
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Oct 04 2001 - 11:03:10 EDT
"Divorce"
John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate
their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new
Mink Coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he
suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.
***********************
"Genie"
A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach
contemplating how badly treated she got over the
divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp
washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops
a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets
her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie
informs her that he will give her three wishes. But, he
cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce,
he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount of
whatever she wishes.
The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly
fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for
a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds
herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills.
The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the
recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely
contain her anger when she makes her second wish.
The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the
shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was
granted, but the genie then reminds again that her ex-
husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and
points out at the beach to a small development of ten
such mansions.
Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to
contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was
about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie
that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she
can do this, the genie again warns her that her ex-
husband will get ten times what she wishes for.
"No problem," said the woman as she grinned in
ecstasy. "For my last wish ... I'd like to give birth
to twins."
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