Subject: Resume 2001
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue May 29 2001 - 02:59:27 EDT
"Stressed?"
Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday,
5% on Fridays.
And help me to remember.....
When I'm having a really bad day,
And it seems that people are really trying
to tick me off,
That it takes 42 muscles to frown
And only 4 to extend my middle finger and
tell them to bite me.
**********************
"Resume 2001"
OBJECTIVE:
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for
eight hours, occasionally looking attentive
when approached by a superior.
EDUCATION:
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
EMPLOYMENT:
NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present)
Produced daily itinerary of television programs
to watch. Duties included changing channels,
avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after
those "important" messages.
DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99)
Using various tools such as credit cards and
borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups
of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that
goes straight to my father.
COMPUTER SKILLS:
*Solitaire
*Minesweeper
*On/Off Repair Method
HONORS AND AWARDS:
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament
*Said Toast at brother's wedding
*High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine
For further references, contact my mother. For positive
responses, please pose all questions as though you're
considering me as a law school applicant.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Fri Jun 01 2001 - 00:00:01 EDT