Subject: First Day of School
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Sep 06 2000 - 14:18:27 EDT
"Priest's Collar"
A priest was walking along the school corridor
near the preschool wing when a group a little
ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria.
One little lad of about three or four stopped and
looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked,
"Why do you dress funny?"
He told him that he was a priest and that this is
the uniform priests wear. Then the boy pointed
to the priest's little plastic collar insert and asked,
"Does it hurt? Do you have a Boo-boo?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to
him the collar insert looked like a bandaid. So
the priest took it out to show him. On the back
of the collar there were raised letters giving the
name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the
letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what
those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad who was not old enough
to read. Peering intently at the letters he said,
"It says, 'Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!' "
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"First Day of School"
Little Johnny was attending his first day of school.
The teacher advised the class to start the day
with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them
to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat
after him.
He looked around the room as he started the
recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When
his eyes fell upon Little Johnny, he noticed his
hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.
"Little Johnny, I will not continue until you put
your hand over your heart."
Little Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."
After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put
his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why
do you think that is your heart?"
"Because, every time my Grandma comes to visit,
she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless
your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie!"
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