Subject: The Aging Experience
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sat Oct 07 2000 - 02:58:46 EDT
"The Aging Experience"
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when
we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less
than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging
that you think in fractions. How old are you? "I'm
four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half... going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they
can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or
even a few ahead. How old are you? "I'm gonna be
16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're 'gonna' be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life... you become
21. Even the words sound like a ceremony... YOU
BECOME 21....YESSSSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?
Make you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had
to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a
sourpuss.
What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put
on the breaks, it's all slipping away. Before you know
it, your REACH 50... and your dreams are gone.
But wait, you MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you
would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40,
REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so
much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-
day thing; you HIT Wednesday, you get into your 80s
and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you
TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. My grandmother
won't even buy green bananas! It's an investment,
you know, and maybe a bad one!!
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start
going backwards; "I was just 92." Then a strange
thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become
a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
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