Subject: New Heimlich Maneuver?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Mar 14 2000 - 08:49:55 EST
"New Heimlich Maneuver?"
At a buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son
is choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help!
Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and
announced that he was quite experienced at
this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost
no look of concern at all, seized the boy's
testicles, and squeezed. Out popped the
quarter. The man then went back to his table
as though nothing had happened.
"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are
you a paramedic?"
"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."
***************************************************
"Donation to Synagogue"
When Rabbi Rosenthal picked up the phone,
Special Agent McGregor from the IRS was
on the line.
"Hello Rabbi."
"Yes."
"I'm calling to inquire about a member of your
congregation, a Dr. Schwartz. Do you recognize
the name?"
"Sure, sure."
"Good. Well, I have a question about the doctor.
Are you free to talk?"
"Yes. So, what is your question?"
"Well, on last year's tax return, the doctor
claimed that he made a sizable tax-
deductable contribution to your synagogue?
Is it true?"
"How much did Dr. Schwartz say he contributed?"
"$25,000. So, is it true?"
A long pause....
"I'll tell you what. Call back tomorrow. I'm
sure it will be true."
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