Subject: Catching The Virus
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Jul 26 2000 - 06:27:18 EDT
"Eh - I Love You?!?"
Just thought I'd pass this along as a "Public
Service Announcement." I don't do these
very much, so, pay attention, ok?
Due to the rampant "ILOVEYOU" virus
affecting over 30 million computers worldwide,
AOL has announced a change in their email
program.
From now on, instead of the familiar greeting,
"You've Got Mail!" you'll now be greeted with,
"You've Been Scr**ed!"
**************************************
"Catching The Virus"
The "I Love You" virus that infects users of
Microsoft's outlook has morphed. Watch for
these variations:
- The "I love you, too" virus: Responds with
an appropriate letter stating that the user loves
you as well. Spreads peace and harmony
throughout the corporate workplace, causing
lost productivity and chaos on Wall Street as
no one tries to screw anyone else out of a deal.
- The "I'm looking for more of a commitment"
virus - Receives the "I love you" virus email
and immediately schedules a recurring event
called "hold for my sweetie" for Friday and
Saturdays into your calendar and the calendar
of the person who sent the mail, registers you
for a year of pre-paid videos at Blockbuster.com,
and deletes any appointments called "Golf with
the guys" or "Night out with the Girls." It also
erases the phone number from the contact
card for your 'ex', and puts in a monthly reminder
for the anniversary of your first date.
- The "Let's just be friends" virus - Immediately
deletes the "I love you" virus, sends a "Let's
Just be friends" response, and books you for
a discount weekend at Hedonism at an online
travel site.
- The "Unsafe Sex" virus - Spreads unprotected
files to every other hard disk on the net.
- The "Safe Sex" virus - Wraps the "I Love You
letter" in a container that keeps it from spreading
99.45% of the time.
- The "Sexual Harassment Lawsuit" virus -
Forwards a copy of the "I Love You" virus to
Human Resources and to your lawyer with
threatening legal language attached.
Automatically accepts settlement offer e-mails
over $100k.
More variations are being discovered every day,
so make sure you update your virus protection.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Aug 01 2000 - 00:00:02 EDT