Subject: Customer Service With a Smile?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jan 24 2000 - 03:22:47 EST
"Customer Service With a Smile?"
Customer: "Excuse me, do you know where
the taby, thingamabobers are?"
Employee: "Yea, by the whatchamacallits
on aisle 6."
Customer: "Do you carry Ink Eradicators?
All of the other places do."
Employee: "I think so. I saw 'em by the Ink
Accelerators on aisle 4."
Customer: "Wheres the thin plastic strips
with sticky stuff on the back that you stick
things to other things with?"
Employee: "Hmm... that's a tough one...
The closest we have is tape."
Customer: "Can you help me find something?"
Employee: "Nope! I'm going to stand here
and laugh at you a bit more..."
Customer: "Excuse me. Do you work here?"
Employee: "Oh... Sorry. I just dress up like
this five days a week because I like messing
with people's minds..."
Customer: "Excuse me. Do you look like
you work here?"
Employee: "(no comment)"
Customer: "Where are the little flat black
things you put in computers?"
Employee: "Hmm. I think they are in the
computer section next to the disks."
Customer: "I'm having trouble with my
computers coffee holder. Do you carry
replacements?"
Employee: (commits hari-kari on the spot)
Customer: "This item doesn't have a price
on it. Does that mean it's free?"
Employee: "Yes. That's one of the items
we paid with "free money" with."
Customer: "Excuse me. Is there a manager
in this store?"
Employee: "Nope. Sorry, we only have
someone with a "Manager" name tag on to
throw people off."
Customer: "Can I open this?"
Employee: "Sure. I'm sure it's different on
the inside of the clear wrapping."
Customer: "Do you have a shopping cart?"
Employee: "I think so. Let me look in my
pocket. Oh! We moved em out to the parking
lot!"
Customer: (referring to a cashier): "Are you
open?"
Employee: "No, sorry. I'm just standing here
because people are giving me money. Why
stop a bad thing. OH! maybe I will turn this
light off with the big number on it next to this
cash register..."
Customer: "Does this printer print in black?"
Employee: "Yea, but you have to buy the white
extra."
Customer: "I am looking for something to
plug into the back of my computer that lets
me use my fax, scanner, printer, copier, and
4-in-1 multi-function machine at the same time."
Employee: "Yea! We have lots of those! Right
through that big glass door by the entrance.
Don't be confused by that 'Exit' sign."
Customer: "Excuse me. Do you sell these
shelves?"
Employee: "Only with all the items on it. Do
you want these price tags too? They're extra,
though."
Customer: "Is this new computer Y2K
compliant?"
Employee: "No, sorry. We just received our
new 1900 models. We can put your name
on the list so we can sell you the new 2K
models 100 years from now..."
Customer: "Can you give me a discount
on this?"
Employee: "Yea, that's why we have those
little stickers with prices on em on everything."
Customer: "My computer isn't working. Do
you know why?"
Employee: "Oh, sorry. I don't have ESP. Let
me transfer you to our ESP Technician
department."
Customer: "Do you carry pencils?"
Employee: "No, I'm sorry. This is an office
supply store only. We don't carry pencils;
or pens for that matter."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:05 EST