Subject: Nature's Naivete
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jan 24 2000 - 03:27:49 EST
"Attitude"
Give each letter of the alphabet a number,
a=1, b=2, etc. If you add up the letters of the
alphabet in the word "Attitude," this is the result:
A = 1
T = 20
T = 20
I = 9
T = 20
U = 21
D = 4
E = 5
------
100
Attitude is 100%.
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"Nature's Naivete" (A LadyHawke's Favorite)
A Duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says, "Hey, you're a duck."
"Nothing wrong with your eyesight," observes
the duck. "Yeah, but I mean - you can TALK,"
says the barman. "Guess your ears are fine,
too," answers the duck. "Now, can have a beer,
please." The barman serves the duck a pint and
asks him, "So, what brings a duck like you to
these parts?"
"Oh," says the duck, "I work on the building site
across the road. We'll be here for a couple of
weeks, and I'll most likely be in every lunch hour
for a pint." The duck slurped down his beer,
wiggling his tail happily. Just as he said, the
duck waddles over from his job at the building
site and has his lunch time lager.
The next week, the circus comes to town on its
annual round. The Circus owner wanders in for
a pint and the barman tells him about the talking
duck. "You should get this duck to join your circus,"
he says. "For a little consideration, I could hook
you up with this duck, and you could make lots of
bucks. Everyone would love to see a talking duck
I think. Don't you?" The circus man nods his
agreement excitedly while sipping his beer, and the
barman agrees to talk to the duck about the circus.
The following day, the duck comes in at lunch time
as he had been for those many days. The barman
says to the duck (with dollar signs in his eyes), "You
know, the circus is in town, and yesterday I was
chatting to the owner about you. He's very interested
in you."
"Really?" says the duck.
"Yeah. You could make a lot of money there. I can fix
it up for you easily."
"Hang on," said the duck. "You did say a CIRCUS,
didn't you?"
"That's right."
"That's one of those big tent things, isn't it? With
a big pole in the middle?"
"Yeah!"
"That's canvas, isn't it?" said the duck.
"Of course," replied the barman, "I can get you a job
there starting tomorrow. The circus owner's dead
keen on the idea."
The duck looked very puzzled, "But why would he
want to hire a plasterer?"
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