Subject: Thanksgiving Day Forecast
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Fri Jan 14 2000 - 06:25:18 EST
"Thanksgiving Day Forecast"
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the
oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen
will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook,
be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold
front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing
an accumulation of one to two inches on plates.
Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while
cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the
other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been
issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness
around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey
will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to
a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure
to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of
leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent
chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect
a warming trend where soup develops. By early next
week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left
will be the bone.
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"How To Cook A Turkey" aka
Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies
Step 1 : Go buy a turkey
Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7 : Turn oven the on
Step 8 : Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9 : Turk the bastey
Step 10 : Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11 : Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12 : Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13 : Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16 : Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17 : Turk the carvey
Step 18 : Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19 : Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20 : Bless the saying, pass and eat out
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:05 EST