Subject: What Time Is It?
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Jan 09 2000 - 03:36:28 EST
"Light Bulb in Psych Ward"
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal
morning rounds when he entered a patient's
room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor,
pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by
his feet.
The doctor asked patient number #1 what he
was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see
I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient
#2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's
my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's
a light bulb." The doctor looks up and notices
Patient #2's face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend,
you should get him down from there before
he hurts himself."
Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What Time Is It?"
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and
suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he
cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices
a patient similarly strolling about within the
hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says,
"Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and
throws himself upon the ground, pulling out
a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick
into the ground, and, pulling out a carpeter's
level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and
with a steel ruler, measures the precise length
of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing
a slide rule from his pocket, the patient
calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his
tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying,
"It is now precisely 2:37 PM, provided today is
May the twenty-second, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this
demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That
was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what
do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when
the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says,
"I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
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