Subject: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Sun Jan 09 2000 - 03:40:20 EST
"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do..."
(especially when you share the same major!)
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just
using her as a substitute for his Mother.
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been
oppressed in the relationship.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconciliation
and/or curses G-d
ARCHAEOLOGY:One tries to bury the past,
and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
THEATRE: "OH MY G-D! Life is... ENDED...
as we KNOW it!"
BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my
genes!"
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the
fact that what goes up must come down.
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an
era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end
to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "HE did it!"
BUSINESS: Both decide that they're
spending way too much money together,
and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup
was caused by something the other party
did in the past.
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to
simply move far away to avoid each other.
ANATOMY: "I never liked your body anyway."ENGLISH: Each writes the other
a perfect
breakup letter, complete with introduction,
thesis, body, and conclusion, that doesn't
really say anything substantively intelligible.
EDUCATION: Both concede that the relationship
was a learning experience.
COMPUTING: "Man, this bytes -- we just
couldn't interface" and/or "His hard drive
was more like a floppy."
E. ENGINEER: "It's just so shocking... I'm
sure there are positives and negatives, but..."
ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much
to build on anyway..."
JEWISH STUDIES: "OY! You should feel
so guilty!"
PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a dorm
and there's no one to witness the breakup,
are they really single?
ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like
banshees, but lacked sophisticated
communication skills.
PHYS. ED.: They punch each other out in
frustration.
CHEMISTRY: "It was just the wrong chemistry
between us..."
COUNSELING: Each urges the other to,
"Get help!"
MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament (or,
in some parts, a country song) to express
his or her sorrow.
LAW: They sue each other for breach of a
pre-dating agreement.
ECONOMICS: One party demands more
than the other can supply.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Tue Feb 01 2000 - 00:00:04 EST