Subject: Facts About Women
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Feb 24 2000 - 09:10:37 EST
"35 Facts About Women"
1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the
world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question
of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out.
Anything on sale is fair game.
3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't
question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just
don't understand."
4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone
unless they know you can hear them.
5. Women will always ask questions that have no
right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them
and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing
to say.
7. Women need to feel like there are people worse
off than they are. That's why soap operas and
Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
8. Women don't need sex as often as men do.
This is because sex is more physical for men and
more emotional for women. Just knowing that the
man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the
emotional need.
9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed
ones need a man around when there's a spider
or a wasp involved.
10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away
at them from the inside. And they don't view it as
being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or
three people.
11. Women always go to public restrooms in
groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone,
no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery
calling.
13. Women never understand why men love toys.
Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if
women had an "on/off" switch.
14. Women think all beer is the same.
15. Women keep three different shampoos and
two different conditioners in the shower.
16. After a woman showers, the bathroom will
smell like a tropical rain forest.
17. Women don't understand the appeal of sports.
Men seek entertainment that allows them to
escape reality. Women seek entertainment that
reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.
18. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack
five days worth of clothes and will wear some
things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day
trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't
know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
19. Women brush their hair before bed.
20. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and
you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll
be in bed.
21. Women are paid less than men, except for one
field: Modeling.
22. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the
man's responsibility, "It's there in the bible." Hmmm...
Who was it that gave Adam the apple?
23. Women do not know anything about cars.
"Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"
24. Women have better restrooms. Ladies
receive the royal treatment in the ladies room.
Gents just get a large bowl to share.
25. The average number of items in a typical
woman's bathroom is 437. A man would *not*
be able to identify most of these items.
26. Women love cats. Men say they love cats,
but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
27. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman
can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon
returning home, she will call the same friend and
they will talk for three hours.
28. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone,
read a book, or get the mail.
29. Woman have legs only so they won't leave
tracks like snails.
30. Women will drive miles out of their way to
avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
31. Women do NOT want an honest answer to
the question, 'How do I look?'
32. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.
33. The first naked man woman see is "Ken."
34. Women are insecure about their weight, butt
and breast sizes.
35. Women can't drive worth crap!!!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Mar 01 2000 - 00:00:07 EST