Subject: How To Survive With Women, Part III
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Feb 23 2000 - 06:09:38 EST
"How To Survive With Women:
Treat Them Like Your Car. Part III"
51. If necessary, fit a silencer.
52. Or use the choke and throttle properly.
53. For your own safety, never attempt to handle
when drunk.
54. Check the hooters. If necessary, give it the
horn.
55. Verify that airbags come out when required.
Fit extra padding if necessary.
56. NEVER let your friends have a go.
57. Never make the mistake of thinking that if you
traded in your current model you could get one like
they have in specialist magazines.
58. Avoid taking it to the pub if you're drinking.
59. Long rides may be tiring, do not feel ashamed
to stop, in the middle of it and fall asleep.
60. It is preferable to get an automatic as this
means less time with your stick it your hand.
61. With a manual: to avoid unpleasant noises
coming from it, avoid putting your stick into it's reverse
position whilst in motion.
62. It is useful to have more than one for different
purposes.
63. German models tend to be solid, steady runners,
not ideal for frequent, brief usage.
64. Italian models are very responsive but change
hands often (high mileage) and often make worrying
noises.
65. American models tend to consume excessive
amounts of fuel.
66. Attractive British models are hard to find and
expensive to maintain.
67. Swedish models are usually very versatile.
68. Japanese models are mass produced and
reliable, but very common and often unattractive.
69. French models are easy to come by but
frequently disappointing.
70. Stay well clear of people carriers.
71. Executive models are hard to get going but
once speed builds they don't take kindly to stopping
stop.
72. Be wary of fast models as they will probably
have high mileage and excessive amounts of wear
in places.
73. The interior of ones which have been previously
owned by old people will have a smell you will never
get rid of.
74. It is unwise to take your father's/big brother's/
mate's out without permission.
75. Do not get too attached to ones you have
to rent.
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