Subject: The Differences at ATM
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Wed Feb 23 2000 - 06:08:42 EST
"Ears?"
A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic
surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of
a very good one in Sweden, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while,
and said: " Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out,
he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon,
and yells:
"You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference
whether it is a man's or a woman's."
"You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't
understand a thing!"
**************************************************
Differences Between The Sexes Observed
At The Drive-Up ATM Machine...
(ok, we are picking on the girls again.)
HIM:
1. Pull up to ATM.
2. Insert card.
3. Enter PIN number and account.
4. Take cash, card and receipt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HER:
1. Pull up to ATM.
2. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
3. Shut off engine.
4. Put keys in purse.
5. Get out of car because you're too far from
machine.
6. Hunt for card in purse.
7. Insert card.
8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN
number written on it.
9. Enter PIN number.
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number.
12A Hit "cancel."
12B Call husband/boyfriend to get correct PIN number.
13. Check balance.
14. Look for envelope.
15. Look in purse for pen.
16. Make out deposit slip.
17. Endorse checks.
18. Make deposit.
19. Study instructions.
20. Make cash withdrawal.
21. Get in car.
22. Check makeup.
23. Look for keys.
24. Start car.
25. Check makeup.
26. Start pulling away.
27. STOP.
28. Back up to machine.
29. Get out of car.
30. Take card and receipt.
31. Get back in car.
32. Put card in wallet.
33. Put receipt in checkbook.
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook.
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook.
36. Check makeup.
37. Put car in gear, reverse.
38. Put car in drive.
39. Drive away from machine.
40. Travel 3 miles.
41. Release parking brake.
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