Subject: Jewish Mama in Court House
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 08 2000 - 04:04:21 EST
"Sweater"
My mother once gave me two sweaters for
Chanukah. The next time we visited, I made
sure to wear one. As we entered her home,
instead of the expected smile, she said,
"What's the matter ? You didn't like the other one?"
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"Guilt Of A First Degree"
A man called his mother in Florida. He said
to his mother, "How are you doing?"
She said, "Not too good. I've been very weak."
The son then asked, "Why are you so weak?"
Mother said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son became worried and asked, "How come
you haven't eaten in 38 days?"
The mother mournfully replied, "Because I didn't
want my mouth to be filled with food when you
called."
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"Jewish Mama in Court House"
After 40 years, Mother finally got her citizenship
papers and proudly registered to vote. Well,
Mother received a notice to report for jury duty,
and to our surprise was not only selected for
a jury but was elected the foreman.
It was a criminal case. A husband had shot his
wife's lover, but only grazed his arm. The jury
was out for over four hours before returning.
Everyone waited with bated breath as the judge
asked my mother whether the jury had reached
a verdict.
Mother stood up, and firmly replied, "We have,
your honor. We decided not to butt in."
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