Subject: Ponderables
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Feb 08 2000 - 03:56:20 EST
"Ponderables"
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your
life.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture
some people have.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having
enough sense to be lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays
off now.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a
horizontal desire.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence
that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of
thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in
full view.
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability
to the reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn
to drive.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll
have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the
scenic route.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50
chance of getting something right, there's a 90%
probability you'll get it wrong.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised
its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all
fall off.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world
end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try
and pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. (actually,
this is very true. When I find a shoe I really love, I
try to get at least two pair because I'll never find them
again!)
Eat right. Stay fit. Die healthy.
The (good) things that come to those that wait may
be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat drinking
beer all day.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in
public schools.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for
doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes
cancer in rats. (This sounds like quantum mechanics!)
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in
the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough
to get out of jury duty. (Sad, but somewhat true.)
Today's subliminal thoughts are:
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hmm, pretty deep, huh?
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b28 : Wed Mar 01 2000 - 00:00:05 EST