Subject: Wedding Bargains
From: Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Date: Mon Nov 15 1999 - 02:53:22 EST
"The Voice"
A man was walking in the street when he
heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you
take one more step, a brick will fall down
on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right
in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going
to cross the road. Once again the voice
shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one
more step a car will run over you, and you
will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as
a car came careening around the corner,
barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who
are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "And where the
hell were you when I got married?"
********************************************************
"Wedding Bargains"
A couple returned from their honeymoon
and it's obvious to everyone that they are
not talking to each other. The groom's
best man takes him aside and asks what
is wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had
finished making love on the first night, as
I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50
bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much,"
said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get
over it soon enough - she can't expect you
to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't
know if *I* can get over this, though. She
gave me $20 change!"
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