Subject: Regulations For Hunting Attorneys
From: Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Date: Fri Nov 12 1999 - 09:50:28 EST
"Regulations For Hunting Attorneys"
Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of
Attorneys PC 370.00
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or
snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest
attorneys for recreational and sport (non-
commercial) purposes.
370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-
falls is permitted. The use of United States
currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor
vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an
ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney
is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead
attorney should be removed to the roadside, and
the vehicle should proceed immediately to the
nearest car wash.
370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest
attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH",
"AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the
purposes of trapping attorneys.
370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100
yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships,
except on Wednesday afternoon.
370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200
yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs,
country clubs, hospitals or brothels.
370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is
not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap
or possess the same.
370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a
disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician,
chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of
hunting attorneys.
370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;
Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).
ARS 8007.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a
moving vehicle unless there are no measurable
skid marks at the kill site.
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