Subject: Bill Gates and Hell
From: Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Date: Thu Nov 11 1999 - 09:44:19 EST
"Questions About Sin"
Just about all my life I belonged to the
Reformed Lutheran Church. When I
married my wife, I converted to her church,
which at that time was called the Lutheran
Church in America. In order to do so, I had
to attend classes.
At one of the first sessions, the minister
conducting the class said, "What must we
do before we can expect forgiveness from
sin?"
I replied, perhaps too quickly, "Er... Sin?"
********************************************************
"Bill Gates and Hell"
Bill Gates passed away and found himself in the
ante-room between Heaven and Hell. The
admitting Angel was surprised to see him and
said there was some sort of mix-up in his file.
After unsuccessfully trying to solve the mix-up,
the Angel told Bill Gates that they would allow
him to make his own choice as to whether he
went to Heaven or Hell.
Gates was then seated in front of two computers:
one labeled "Heaven" and one labeled "Hell."
The "Heaven" monitor showed streets paved
in gold with many smiling people gathered in
clusters singing beautiful hymns. Lovely harp
music filled the air and the sky was filled with
soft, puffy white clouds.
The "Hell" monitor showed a white sand beach
with a sparkling blue ocean gently lapping on
the shore. There were many beautiful young
women in tiny bikini's strolling the beach, lying
in the sand and playing volleyball and having a
lot of fun.
Gates looked at both scenes for awhile and
then thought to himself, "Hell really does look
pretty great." He told the Angel he chose to go
to Hell, and he was immediately sent down.
Quite awhile later, the admitting Angel was
making his customary rounds of Heaven and
Hell, checking on the daily routines. He saw
Bill Gates and went over to speak to him.
Gates was chained to a wall. He was dirty
and thin. His body was covered in festering
sores and he was groaning in great pain. The
Angel said, "You know, I could not understand
why you chose Hell when you could have gone
to Heaven. You, of course, are suffering the
consequences of Hell."
Gates looked at the Angel with tormented eyes
and said, "Where are the beautiful girls? Where
is the white sand beach and the sparkling blue
ocean? Where is all the fun?"
The Angel said, "Oh, that. Well, you were
looking at the MicroHell Screen Saver..."
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